Oh my goodness - what are we to do now that the News of The World has folded? They always seemed to have someone on hand to snap us. Maybe we will have to send Dor to do a deal with "Hello". We can invite them on board the AR on our maiden voyage. I'm sure that will make quite a splash, in more ways than one.

My outfit is being made by Alexander McQueen (a la Kate Moss) and I will give you details when it is finalised. It will be very "luffly pink" like Berny's new shoes and quite frilly and flouncy and I have asked Philip Treacey to make me a hat which looks like the AR. That'll get 'em talking.

It's a huge relief to hear that Lyn is still in rehab and even more so that Eleanor won't be wearing that tatty old tammy! Grubby old thing looked like a dead cat (not a talking cat, you understand, just a dead one!) Maybe we should ask "the knitter" to bring Jack along - he could chat to the guests as they arrive at the Kirk (provided he doesn't cock his leg on Dor's tea trolley)

Weather looks set for a good sail - torrential downpours and gale force winds. Bring it on!!

A small tad concerned about the Sword Dance - we could end up with.....well, I don't think I'll go into that here

Try not to worry too much about the sword dance - it looks so effective when it`s performed, and I`m sure if we practice hard we`ll manage to avoid any disasters : after all, we`re all very light on our feet, and we`ll be wearing those nice little Scottish shoes with the laces that go up the legs.

The swords will remain on the floor, out of Lyn`s way.Is she out of rehab yet?

I think we should be more worried about Sheila`s cannons - Eleanor and I have only just recovered our hearing after the last time she fired them. I hope she`ll manage the Sailor`s Hornpipe - there`s a lot of steps to remember.

Oh Sheila - I didn't think you would miss him

I have finally received planning permission for the extension to the wheeled commode!! Sadly, it can be only 6' wide and 10' long, or it may become a hazard to other road users. The menagerie will need sleeping/resting quarters and I think this will fit the bill perfectly. After all, we now have not only the snake and Neddy, but Jack as well. I am also fitting in a straw filled box, so we have somewhere to throw Eleanor when she is "sleeping it off".

We`re all in silent awe at your efforts with the commode!

You`ll be pleased to know that Sheila`s Sailor`s Hornpipe is coming along just fine - now that she knows it`s actually a solo dance, and she won`t be dancing with a sailor. Duh!

I`m seriously worried about Eleanor, as she`s quite "high" from all the cake-making - why she has to sample each one I really don`t know. Doreen was down there yesterday, hunting for snails, and the pair of them were completely out of it.

Not long now until we set sail - keep practicing those steps, ladies!

Thanks Jean for sending Captain Flint back. Sorry I didn't let you know earlier today but I have been out practising with the cannon . Fortunately I am in Dartmouth at the moment, near the Naval College. I had just managed a 20 gun salute when the last ball got stuck. Could I get it out? No! Then who should come along but 5 hunky sailors on their way back to college. They soon sorted me out and I thanked them by inviting them to the 'launch party' I didn't think any of you would mind. Now obviously Jean you have been interferring with my parrot. Every time I say no to more food he says "Jean let me, Jean let me." I think you have been giving him Eleanor's cakes he has definitely put on weight. I have got him doing the sailors' hornpipe at the moment....oops! He's just been sick on my shoulder . Julie, I think you should apologise to Kathleen, she hasn't noticed the grafitti on the bunting and is still trimming her hat with it. Oh! There goes Jenni shimmering past the window. Will someone please tell her she can go right as well as left. She's three miles from home now and you will never catch snails like that Doreen, remember you have to talk to them. They're only human!!!

You can count me in Kathleen......I wonder if they would like a cannon welcome!

Oh Amanda - am I glad to see you! We have missed the wine and the cabbage leaves SO much. Hope you are teaching Grace to shimmy to the left so she will be able to join Berny! And please don't tell me we've now got 2 snakes!! That means Neddy, Cap'n Flint, Jack the talking dog and 2 snakes. Maybe our little boat is aptly named the "Arc" Royal?

Well Jenni has still not come to terms with the left shimmy! Last seen heading for Wales and, if she continues like this, will miss the launch party as well as cast off!

I am so excited about going to Leith. Will we be able to tour the docks? Lots of nice sailors I do believe.

The party should be great fun. I will be wearing one of Amanda's creations. I see that cabbage leaves are so in vogue, especially when sequined! Can you make me some dainty cabbage leafed bootees as well Amanda as I do like to be co-ordinated.

Sadly, I must insist that Amanda should not be in charge of the beverages. Last time we were on an adventure, I required a little pernod, for medicinal reasons you understand (the cake was finished) only to find that she had allowed that Doreen and Jean it for that darned Neddy. I believe that Sheila may be better suited to this honour as I do believe that she may have medical qualifications in this area being a regular at the Flying Cannonball on Saturday nights.

As for the outdoor pursuits of Doreen and I, you will all be surprised to know that we are in next month's Natural History magazine, as we have proven that snails are homing creatures. We painted stripes on their shells and sent them far from home: they slowly returned (actually flew home when a neighbour chucked them over the fence in amazement when she noted their blue stripes) to their starting point. There is also talk of a spot on the sofa with Lorraine after our return from Edinburgh.

I am so glad that Lyn is making herself useful in rehab. Last I heard, they want her to stay indefinately until at least all the shrubs, trees and grasses are all cut back. They are also considering community service by hiring her out to the city Parks department.

Sheils does seem to be getting to grips with the cannonball and the salute. I am a bit concerned that there may be problems if she competes with the one oclock gun from the castle.